The Most Expensive Word in International Business: "Yes"

"I feel like they just want to make us happy. I understand that....but can't they actually do what they said 'yes' to"?

A participant made this comment during a recent USA-Japan training session. The team had reached a point where every conversation seemed positive. Meetings went well. Nobody appeared unhappy. Requests were rarely challenged. Yet progress often felt uncertain.

The question being asked was simple. If everyone agrees, why does it sometimes feel as though nobody is committing?

When Agreement Isn't Commitment

Many managers assume that agreement and commitment are the same thing. A proposal is discussed. Nobody objects. The meeting concludes. The expectation is that everyone will now move forward.

Unfortunately, international business is not always that straightforward.

People may agree for different reasons. They may agree that an idea has merit. They may agree that a proposal deserves further discussion. They may agree that they understand what is being asked. That does not necessarily mean they are committing to a specific action, deadline or outcome.

The difficulty arises when one side assumes commitment has been secured while the other side believes the conversation is still evolving.

The Cost of Misunderstanding

This issue is common in international projects.

• A customer believes a supplier has committed to a delivery date.

• A project manager believes a team has accepted a deadline.

• A regional office believes headquarters has approved a proposal.

Weeks later, expectations collide.

One side feels promises have been broken. The other feels expectations were never fully agreed in the first place. At this stage, trust can start to suffer. People begin to question reliability, transparency, and intent.

In reality, the problem may have started much earlier with a different understanding of what agreement actually meant.

Testing For Commitment

The solution is rarely to become more aggressive or demanding. Successful international managers learn to explore agreements in more detail. Rather than asking:

"Can you do this?", they ask:

• What challenges do you foresee?

• What would prevent this from happening?

• How confident are you that this deadline can be met?

• Who else needs to be involved before a final decision can be made?

  
  

These questions often reveal far more than a simple yes-or-no answer.

Listening Beyond Words

One of the most valuable skills in international business is learning to distinguish between understanding, agreement and commitment. They are not always the same thing.

Most people are acting in good faith. They are trying to be constructive, professional and cooperative. Problems arise when different assumptions are attached to the same conversation.

The participant in the USA-Japan session was asking a fair question. The answer was not that their Japanese colleagues were unwilling to commit. The answer was that both sides were looking for different signals to confirm the existence of commitment.

Understanding that difference can prevent a great deal of frustration and a surprisingly large number of international business problems.

For more on working with cross-border teams and clients, visit our cross-border skills page

Mark Mortimer is the founder of Timezone Business, with over 30 years of experience working in international business across China, Japan, Germany, India, the UK, and the US.